Seasons of change bring anticipation with them. I’m no exception. Finishing one thing to begin another sparks anticipation. Better described than defined, anticipation is that first whiff of roasting coffee beans in the morning, the roar of the crowd when your team runs onto the field, the sound of your toddler breaking the bliss of sleep.

Anticipation is a tiny theft of pleasure. A wreckless spending of delights not yet owned

Tiffany Watt Smith

Life without anticipation seems unthinkable. Yet, in these days of uncertainty, anticipation could run amok. For myself, it’s a matter of days from launching my website. What have I observed about myself as I anticipate this new beginning?

Learning

Learning is a great way of providing meaning to a new chapter. It would have been easier for me to simply blog on an existing platform like LinkedIn or Medium, but then I would have deprived myself of learning how to use WordPress. It also means that, unlike the past three years where I operated as a director of a medium-sized charity, I’ve had to roll up my sleeves and become a one-stop shop in planning and implementing my new venture. This is a terrific experience of challenging my capacities with new skills and knowledge.

Planning

By mapping out the steps I maintain a future orientation. But I need to recognise those things I loved about my work, which I will miss. A senior role with considerable responsibility, colleagues I loved working with in order to help multitudes living in poverty are not easy to simply leave behind. I need to sit with the grief, embrace it but not get stuck in it.

Hoping

As a Christian, hope in ultimate things is part of the faith package. But as a human, hope can be difficult to cling to when you realise that you haven’t travelled this way before. That’s confronting. However, when you develop a hope that is outside of yourself, there is something a little bigger that holds onto you. Ultimately, I want this experience to help others, as well as myself. Hoping for that has given me an energy and resolve that some days surprises me.

Here’s to the beauty of anticipation…